But my parts have taken a hit.Īt the walk-in clinic, I’m told I have a common ailment, BV – something men can give women but women can’t give men, sort of like diamonds or a mink coat only bad. Afterwards, he sleeps in completely clobbered stillness and leaves the next morning like a gentleman. He feels amazing, seems pleased enough and I almost snog the life out of him. I remember doing this before the internet! One thing leads to another and just when I’m sure bats will fly out of my derelict vagina, muscle memory kicks in. So, after a few misfires (one man didn’t even walk me out of the pub where we agreed to meet), a particularly attractive 24-year-old seems eager to come home with me. This alone makes me feel part of a vanguard of sexual vampires who refuse to die. More and more people in my age range are getting STIs and worse. “You could experience vaginal dryness,” my doctor warns, after telling me that, yes, I could indeed pass for 42 and that I must not forget to use protection. After so many years of having sex with myself, would the old girl downstairs remember what to do? These meetings shore up my confidence but don’t quench my own performance concerns. I arrange drinks with younger men and some older. I chat to them and discover that every young man likes kissing, has a bike and thinks he’s a photographer – a fascinating trope.Īt first, I’m nervous to meet. It’s a box of chocolates from which I get to pick and choose (especially with Bumble, where nothing happens until the woman makes the first move). My timelines are packed with splendid males, creatures so beautiful that I gasp. The photos have pulled men of 22 – and yes, I could almost be their grandmother – up to 63. I choose the widest male age range – and wait. I put the apps’ radius near to my office. With gay and straight friends approving my photo profile, I go online expecting ridicule or silence. The menopause has caused me to lose weight and I have a leaner look than I did in my 20s. I may be closer to 60 than 50 but a lifetime of care and good genes mean I can pass for 42 and I do.
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